Am I an Imposter?!

Is the Imposter Syndrome destroying your life? What is it? I was given the word "Imposter" at a prayer line by my pastor and the immediate thing I sensed was " You feel that YOU are an imposter."

Why is this a problem? It is the sense of feeling unworthy or fake. That you're not really able to walk in all God has for you because you are somehow faulty or deceptive.

And do you know that MANY other people feel this very way? Especially entrepreneurs, creatives and ministry leaders?

These feelings have been popping us as I write and complete my book. I even see it in the first draft of my bio- which is objectively sparse. I feel the Holy Spirit highlighting to me that I have left out a lot of facts....that simply reveal the mosaic of my life. Some of these facts include the following:

I was a UN rep for one year for my agency, spoke at the Organization of African States, lobbied member nations, spoke at the MN state senate. This is because I'm an advocate and promoter for people and ideas I care about. (!!!) I toured as a vocalist with a Christian rock band in a Christian ministry etc and got saved on that tour! I started the NYC branch of a Christian debt cancellation movement called Jubilee 2000 the year I was born again.

But I only wrote in my bio- "Mom and survivor of spiritual abuse." I

Is this bragging? No....these facts show how we are wired and giftings that are in us. I am a promoter, connector and advocate at heart. I fight for things and people I care about, especially the oppressed. And I've been doing this all of my life. I curriculated a petition to save a wildlife refuge at age 9!

It's time to take back old things that we have forgotten!! Because God will use it ALLLL for His glory.

Looking back, I homeschooled a child with autism. And it was incredibly difficult. But now this boy, 20, speaks many languages and is writing a book. Glory to God!!! That trial by fire taught me behavior strategies that I use as a Special ed teacher and when working with teens with oppositional behaviors. All from that hard hard season of life.

Should we be ashamed of our past failures, wounds and brokenness? No- there is a testimony here! And hope for others. I will brag about what God delivered me out of because it shows who He is, where I've been and His power to transform any life. (Isaiah 61)

God saved me from bulimia, depression, and an abusive marriage. He saved my children from mind control, Slavic nationalism, and hatred of me. He saved me from a divorce where I was being deceived and gaslighted. I was given supernatural favor in court. (He turned the heart of my ex to now be a blessing-good co-parent and respectful.) When I got divorced- my income increased every year dramatically. The first year I made only 10K, the next 18K, it kept increasing or doubling each year....and I'm still on that upward trend now.

He rescued me from an abusive author and is now exposing this man outside of me in a big way. (Another recent word is "God is dealing with the injustices of your past.")

He saved my Dad on his deathbed after me praying for all of my life for him. He restored my FAITH after leaving a death cult that killed 5 people and one child. He took me from traumatized to triumphant!! I love the church now and am about to release a book for survivors of spiritual abuse. (Link coming)!

I used to have severe PTSD when I entered a church and was demonized/triggered and unable to enter in at all. And now I am ordained, on a prayer team, in a healthy church and more close to the Lord in the secret place than I've ever been. Will he restore a devastated life???? YES HE WILL AND DOES!!! This is why I write...because my life is a miracle, sign and a wonder!!!

I got into Yale- as a cheerleader with a good essay...and then worked for the Dean of admission to Yale Law...who showed me kindness and favor. I was semi-adopted by another family in high school as well, and my friend's Dad pushed us both to go Ivy. Yale was my reach school and it's still absolutely an amazing thing to me, that God made that happen.

Do you all wrestle with the "imposter syndrome"? Don't because you are fearfully and wonderfully made! He just needs our YES!!

Look back on your life and see GRACE even when we didn't know him or were doing our own can see grace and this IS a day of RESTORATION.

We can judge others and other selves so harshly or without grace. OR we don't look for the GOLD in others. My spiritual Dad and Mom often say to me “This is your time!! We love you! We believe in you! We see what God is doing in you and will do through you!" Encouragement and truth will destroy the imposter syndrome!! We can give this encouragement to ourselves and others….and this is also LOVE.

What lies are blocking your growth?! Release them and come into alignment with His good plans for you today!

Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light,

and kings to the brightness of your dawn. (Isa 60:1-3)

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